Sunday, September 28, 2008


Hello! I'm not dead. I'm still alive! I just got distracted with... TV SERIES!!! Anime as well as dramas. Ahhh... the live of a TV addict. I could just get lost in my own little fantasy world and never come out. I could just go crazy over all the hot, sensitive guys with ultimate personalities and backgrounds portrayed on media. I could just sigh at the fictional life they lead. Oh... the wonders of fiction and the media. *goes all dreamy*

So I've been watching anime this week. And I totally recommend to you (anime lovers)... Vampire Knight! The graphics are great (sort of like Bleach and Naruto) and the story line is haunting. I love the opening theme and the closing theme is the absolute best! There is a dash of humour here and there so all in all, it'll be a great series to watch. Especially if you fancy vampires!

Taken from

Yuki's earliest memory is of a stormy night in winter, wherein she was attacked by a vampire... And then rescued by another. Now 10 years later, Yuki Cross, the adapted daughter of the headmaster of Cross Academy, has grown up and become a guardian of the vampire race, protecting her savior, Kaname, from discovery as he leads a group of vampires at the elite boarding school. But also at her side is Zero Kiryu, a childhood friend who’s hatred for the creatures that destroyed everything he held dear, is now determined never to trust them. This coexisting arrangement seems all well and good, but have the vampires truly renounced their murderous ways, or is there a darker truth behind their actions. Is Kaname's infatuation with Yuki the beginning of a forbidden romance, or is it something in her forgotten past that draws him to her. Because in this world of secrets, nothing is as it seems. And the price of misplaced trust may even be worse than death.

And also, I've been trying to get One Tree Hill Season 5. I've finally gotten a few episodes to watch! I love this drama to pieces! So I'm going off now to watch the series.

Perhaps I'll return soon to post something better. Maybe. We'll see =D.

Monday, September 22, 2008

Being Pet Starved

I was so pet starved! As in I crave for pets and I'm not getting any. Ever since my father got ill, I've been having no pets at all. Then when I moved to my brother's house, there's absolutely no chance of me having furries. No dogs, no cats, no hamsters... I felt like I've been caged for months without food but I'm still surviving (okay, that don't make sense)! So I did the unthinkable. I bought fishes.

AUSMAT (Australian Matriculation) was having a charity drive on Friday. They had a fishing booth whereby you pay RM1 and for 15 seconds, you get to fish your own fish, as many as you can get, using tissue paper wrapped around hard wire instead of a real net. It was so exiciting to see the little things swimming around and my head spun with the prospect of having a pet. Even if it was just a fish. Filled with anticipation and excitement, with my eyes wide open and a stupid grin plastered on my face, I dragged Catherine to accompany me to fish. I gave RM1 to the guy behind the booth and happily dipped my handmade fishing net into the tank when the time started.

I didn't get any fish at all. Which was disappointing. I was just aiming a single fish because it was the only attractive one in that tank. What got me more disappointed was when the guy told me he gave me extra time to fish and he stopped the time when I almost got the fish. Then it jumped out of the net! Frustrating! So I went back to my group of friends wailing that I want a fish and Izzat was like, "Aiya, I go pay and you get one la!". So I went with Izzat to the booth and suddenly Aliza popped out and said she wanted to play too. So I gave her my RM1. I tried my best and finally got the fish I wanted! Yay! I had extra time too cause the guy behind the booth was being kind. Aliza caught 3 fishes but I was just happy with my 1.

Introducing my guppy fish named Fish!

If you look beside Fish, there's Chloe, Zaleha's fish. And to Zaleha, that fish is a male. I think you'd better rename it ;). Aliza gave me the other 3 fishes too but she wanted to carry them around 'til I go back home. So I only carried Fish, the fish I caught myself, around to my Biology and IDC class.

So I met Eng Yew when my break was almost over and asked him to take home one of the fishes. He said no. Pfft! But he followed me around with my mom after school to buy the stuff required for my fishes. My mom bought me a tank (I thought I had one at home but she gave the old one away), fish food and 4 more other guppies! Then Eng Yew helped me fix it up.

Cleaning the small tank.

Just a simple filter.

Getting some water in


Hm, so anyway, here comes the sad part. Fish died and the following day and the next day and the next, the fishes caught from the charity drive all died. So I was left with four very stressed fishes (yes, fishes do get stressed) from the local aquarium shop and one had its tail ripped to shreds because the other three kept bullying him. I lost that one this afternoon while I was in school.

I, unfortunately, learnt the hard way that it's not the fishes that I need to pay attention to, rather the water condition. I learnt that the tank was overcrowded with eight fishes. I learnt that new tanks are not really good for the fishes. I learnt that fishes need specific water conditions to be happy in and that my tank is very, very small, which makes it harder to maintain than a bigger tank because if ammonia builds up, the fishes get poisoned faster in a small tank than a big one. I learnt a lot about water. It was a lot to digest in a few days.

So now I know and now have three happy fishes swimming around the small tank. They seem to be supremely big eaters- like me. Haha!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Take The Plunge

Ever had one of those times when you felt like doing something you really wanted, but in the end something else held you back? Perhaps it involves your pride, or maybe your ego. Perhaps it was fear and insecurity. Or complicated as it is, all these factors combined into one? Then you never got to do the thing you wanted and you watched it slip by, realizing only too late that you should have grabbed that chance.

What if it doesn't turn out the way I want? What if it's pointless? What if they/he/she don't like me? Oh the so many 'what ifs' possibilities that can surface. So what? In your life there's bound to be mistakes made. We learn from that. In your whole life there's bound to be people that hate you. You can't please everyone. So what's stopping you? Focus on the people that truly appreciates you. There's so many out there! You don't notice them, but they certaintly do notice you. Focus on the values you learn and the experience you will gain. If you don't try, you will never know. Never surpress knowledge, never surpress experience.

If you have that something you wanted to do, some passion stirring inside of you, a confession you want to make, well I say just do it. Push yourself, slap yourself, by all means just squish that insecure or prideful part of yourself and go freaking do that thing you want!

Because opportunities don't come everytime.
Because later in life, you learn from the outcome and can look back without regrets.
Because you took that risk.
Because you live a little more of your life.
Because life can only be lived once.

So go grab it. Grab that opportunity. Suck in your breath and prepare for the harsh waters. Trust me, that feeling of satisfaction beats the feeling of regret.

So here's to me, taking a deep breath and plunging into the waters.

Wish me luck.

Monday, September 15, 2008

My Dream Wedding

Out of fun, this is in reply to This Post. Yeah, it's quite late. I actually planned on posting this earlier but other stuff caught my interests.

I've never really thought of a dream wedding before I read about a dream wedding post. In fact, I think that my own dream wedding wouldn't come true. I mean, how many out of all the dreams out there really, really do come true? Financial constraint is one of the factors for me. Realistically, with the money I would have (being a psychic now, haha!), my dream wedding would be in Malaysia, in a church with a simple wedding gown (or maybe none)with close family and friends. Then we'll have a simple dinner at a restaurant or at home. Nothing too fancy and nothing that involves red table cloths, people shouting yam seng and a karaoke box on stage where aunties and uncles sing songs that are long ago lost to guests who just want to eat (no offence to anyone). Just that simple, non-chinese wedding dinner with boisterous friends and families if you please. (=

Now, letting my imaginations go wild, my dream wedding would cost a bomb. A nuclear bomb. I want to fly overseas, bring close friends and families, my favourite priest to hold the wedding ceremony, have a big yet simple event, custom made dress and probably stay a night or two in a resort for my honeymoon.

Let's start with the place, shall we? I always thought that marrying by the beach would be oh-so-romantic. But I had to keep options open for the best of the best places. Afterall, I am miraculously, in this dream, filthy rich. After looking through top ten venues of wedding locations, I've fallen in love with this place:

Just look at it! How can you not love it?! The clear, blue waters just make me melt. It's the Grand Anse Beach in South Caribbean. Caribbean! You think I would meet Captian Jack Sparrow? Heh heh.

I want to catch the sunsets and the beautiful skies. I want to get married in the morning and enjoy a nice wedding dinner during sunset by the beach. Yes, right by the beach! With white table cloths, wine, relaxing music and cool breeze blowing at my dolled up face. If the weather doesn't permit, I'd dine in one of the resorts located there. And will you look at the place?

One of the rooms look something like this...

It suddenly sounds as if I am planning for a honeymoon instead of a wedding. Hmm...

Moving on to the dress. As said before, I would want a custom made dress. I want the front of my dress to look like this and also most of the dress made of the same material. The ribbon-like lines on the dress could be of different colour though. Maybe gold or royal blue..

I want the back of the dress to look like this...

and I want the length to be sweeping the floor (of course my bridesmaids would lift the hems up for me) but not too long, just like this...

I haven't yet decided if my dress should have that flowing straps or not. Hmm...

Anyway, my bridesmaids would also have their own dresses! Just like the picture below, except that they get to choose their own ribbon colours. I know, I'm cruel. Uniformed gowns make them seem all plain and blah. But don't that dress look fantastic as well?

And what would be Joanna's wedding without food? Cakes! First we'll have these cupcakes for the guests...

One pair for each!

Then my wedding cake would be of 6 to 8 layers just like this minus the ugly rose sitting there...

I guess I will just stop here. One last point is that I want my favourite singer there to sing for my wedding (Cheh! Like some big shot). I can go on and on and on about how I want the wedding to go and all that, but I decided to spare you the bore. So have you thought about your own dream wedding that may or may not come true?

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A Baby Moment - Mammam

This post might not mean much to you readers but I just couldn't help blogging about it. You know, I do go pretty random once in a blue moon. I'll say random things, make random noises or do something so totally out of the blue that people would just give me a blank stare, lost in my insanity moment. And then I would end up laughing at my poor victim and walk away. I think my 9-month old baby niece had inherited that bit of insanity from me (or my mother. I don't know which).

She's currently learning how to talk. Unless she wants to eat her mother, I don't think she understands what she's saying/gurgling when she goes, "Mammam Ma!". So the family was having dinner and she was happy sitting on her bright yellow training chair, accessorizing the chair with bits and pieces of her biscuit when suddenly she just went, "Mammammam!". It was really a cute moment and we started smiling and chuckling. I guess she knew she had an audience because she began entertaining us with a Mammam song and I started giggling.

Then she looked at me and went, "MamMAAAAmm maaam ma- HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Only that didn't cause me to have a blank stare, it caused me to burst into laughter alongside her mother. Oh gosh, if she gives me anymore funny surprises I'm going to die of her cuteness. Really.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Bethany Joy Lenz - Elsewhere

If anyone could find the full song for this, I would really appreciate it. Here's the full lyrics so you know it's the full song. If you would like to hear it, I've currently found the short version of the song in YouTube.

Elsewhere, Bethany Joy Lenz.

I love the time and in between
the calm inside me
in the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a
distance I have wandered
to touch upon the years of
reaching out and reaching in
holding out holding in

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it as long as I can be
left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand

I know this love is passing time
passing through like liquid
I am drunk in my desire...
but I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out and hold me near...
I believe...

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand

Oh the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
the mold that clings like desperation
Mother can't you see I've got
to live my life the way I feel is right for me
might not be right for you but it's right for me...
I believe...

I believe
this is heaven to no one else but me
and I'll defend it as long as
I can be left here to linger in silence
if I choose to
would you try to understand it

I would like to linger here in silence
if I choose to
would you understand it
would you try to understand...

A Time For Celebration

So the celebration came few days later. Sunday happened to be very boring. Woke up in the morning feeling like a zombie, went to church, watched my niece smile like there's no tomorrow, ate wan ton mee, came home, slept... and woke up again. Haha. I know, boring. But then something interesting was going to happen at night. Who is to blame? Him...

He brought me for dinner. At first he told me that we were going to the Food Court nearby. I really did believe him at first. I worried that I've overdressed and wanted to whack his head really hard for not telling me earlier. Wear a short skirt to a hawker centre? GAH!

But then on the way out, I thought things over in my head and it's very, very unlikely that he asked me out for dinner days earlier just so we could go eat at the Food Court (he does not really like the Food Court, by the way). We went out to the Puteri shop lots when he suddenly slowed down and said he had forgotten something to buy. I knew immediately then that something was amiss. He U-turned and went to the new shop lots area right beside Giant. I remembered that I've sneaked a peep at his phone messages on Friday and I read that he wanted to go for a Korean BBQ (Yeah, yeah. Naughty me! Eh, next time delete those harmful SMS-es lah!). So I looked out the window and saw this HUGE sign that said...

So it was either Nasi Kandar or BBQ. The latter is the most obvious. I smiled to myself while he continued on complaining how he could forget to buy that certain "thing". I'm sooo smart, right? Haha! When I looked through the menu, I saw that the price was... wow. I CAN'T BE SPOILT LIKE THIS!!! So anyway, the rest of this post will be in pictures! Enjoy, enjoy!

Here's where we had to take out our shoes to get unto the platform.

A picture of one of the beautiful seating places. Instead of chairs, we have a hole!

Ordered just two meat sets and look the the variety of side dishes!

This is my favourite... Actually, no. I just love having vege with my meal.

First served was soup with loads of pepper. Yum!

Then came the thin slices of beef. We didn't have to do anything. The waiters did everything for us, walking up and down, turning over the meat, refilling our drinks and asking if we want more side dishes to eat when we ate finish one plate.

Our second set. Don't the meat look all juicy and tender?

We had watermelon for dessert too. I wonder if they'll give more...

Sweet, sweet barley.

Really, you shouldn't spoil me so much. Because I don't know how to spoil you back. =P

Friday, September 5, 2008

Happy Second & First

To Someone Special...

I know sometimes I'm a pain in the a--,
I know sometimes I don't really care.
I know sometimes I think just bout me,
I know sometimes I made you angry.

I've thought a lot about what we are,
I've come to a conclusion we're quite far.
We're a pair, we're lovers, we'll forever be,
Though one day this just might not be.

Nothing's perfect I know it's true,
And all we ever did was argue (these past few weeks lah).
But through the storm we're still survivors,
Love is our one big reviver.

You've loved me, you've spoilt me, you've cherished me,
You made me so happy and all so bouncy.
Your sweet little words and your caring little actions,
Are ones I love best through our interactions.

After all these months we've come to this,
Even though we're in imperfect bliss.
A year passed on by and smiled at us,
So comes the "Happy Anniversary, my dearest!"

Yeah, lah, a little late. But still, I want to say I appreciate this whole year a lot. You know it, I know it. Thanks for all the sweet sacrifices and the debates (I had much fun, really!). Also, thanks for shaping me to become a better individual.

Me loves ya lots!!! Happy (2nd) 1st Year Anniversary, my little G!

P.S: I would write more sweet things here but I know you'll most probably say I've copied you and gag on the floor or worst of all, have diabetes!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

I Just Want To Hold On Now

I don't know why
At certain times I feel so weak
I don't know why
Sometimes things could look so bleak

All I wanted to do
Was survive this day
All I ended up doing
Was all in the wrong way

I really wish that
With just a simple thought
With just a simple smile
With just a simple "Sorry"
Everything would be alright.

But hey, that only exists in my fantasy.

I hold that little ray of hope closer to myself, afraid that if I let it go, all would disappear.

What the Modern Woman Wants

I found this while browsing the net at It's a heart-warming, meaningful story by a 15-year-old Singaporean student. It was her winning entry for the 2004 Commonwealth Essay Competition. Take time to read it. It's really good.

What the Modern Woman Wants
By Amanda Chong Wei-Zhen

The old woman sat in the backseat of the magenta convertible as it careened down the highway, clutching tightly to the plastic bag on her lap, afraid it may be kidnapped by the wind. She was not used to such speed, with trembling hands she pulled the seatbelt tighter but was careful not to touch the patent leather seats with her callused fingers, her daughter had warned her not to dirty it, ‘Fingerprints show very clearly on white, Ma.’

Her daughter, Bee Choo, was driving and talking on her sleek silver mobile phone using big words the old woman could barely understand.’Finance’ ‘Liquidation’ ‘Assets’ ‘Investments’… Her voice was crisp and important and had an unfamiliar lilt to it. Her Bee Choo sounded like one of those foreign girls on television. She was speaking in an American accent. The old lady clucked her tongue in disapproval.

‘I absolutely cannot have this. We have to sell!’ Her daughter exclaimed agitatedly as she stepped on the accelerator; her perfectly manicured fingernails gripping onto the steering wheel in irritation.

‘I can’t DEAL with this anymore!’ she yelled as she clicked the phone shut and hurled it angrily toward the backseat. The mobile phone hit the old woman on the forehead and nestled soundlessly into her lap. She calmly picked it up and handed it to her daughter.

‘Sorry, Ma,’ she said, losing the American pretence and switching to Mandarin. ‘I have a big client in America. There have been a lot of problems.’ The old lady nodded knowingly. Her daughter was big and important. Bee Choo stared at her mother from the rear view window, wondering what she was thinking.

Her mother’s wrinkled countenance always carried the same cryptic look. The phone began to ring again, an artificially cheerful digital tune, which broke the awkward silence.

‘Hello, Beatrice! Yes, this is Elaine.’ Elaine. The old woman cringed. I didn’t name her Elaine. She remembered her daughter telling her, how an English name was very important for ‘networking’, Chinese ones being easily forgotten.

‘Oh no, I can’t see you for lunch today. I have to take the ancient relic to the temple for her weird daily prayer ritual.’ Ancient Relic. The old woman understood perfectly it was referring to her. Her daughter always assumed that her mother’s silence meant she did not comprehend.

‘Yes, I know! My car seats will be reeking of joss sticks!’ The old woman pursed her lips tightly, her hands gripping her plastic bag in defence. The car curved smoothly into the temple courtyard. It looked almost garish next to the dull sheen of the ageing temple’s roof. The old woman got out of the back seat, and made her unhurried way to the main hall. Her daughter stepped out of the car in her business suit and stilettos and reapplied her lipstick as she made her brisk way to her.

‘Ma, I’ll wait outside. I have an important phone call to make,’ she said, not bothering to hide her disgust at the pungent fumes of incense. The old lady hobbled into the temple hall and lit a joss stick, she knelt down solemnly and whispered her now familiar daily prayer to the Gods.

‘Thank you God of the Sky, you have given my daughter luck all these years. Everything I prayed for, you have given her. She has everything a young woman in this world could possibly want. She has a big house with a swimming pool, a maid to help her, as she is too clumsy to sew or cook. Her love life has been blessed; she is engaged to a rich and handsome angmohman. Her company is now the top financial firm and even men listen to what she says. She lives the perfect life. You have given her everything except happiness. I ask that the gods be merciful to her even if she has lost her roots while reaping the harvest of success. What you see is not true - she is a filial daughter to me. She gives me a room in her big house and provides well for me. She is rude to me only because I affect her happiness. A young woman does not want to be hindered by her old mother. It is my fault.’

The old lady prayed so hard that tears welled up in her eyes. Finally, with her head bowed in reverence she planted the half-burnt joss stick into an urn of smouldering ashes. She bowed once more. The old woman had been praying for her daughter for thirty-two years. When her stomach was round like a melon, she came to the temple and prayed that it was a son.

Then the time was ripe and the baby slipped out of her womb, bawling and adorable with fat thighs and pink cheeks, but unmistakably, a girl. Her husband had kicked and punched her for producing a useless baby who could not work or carry the family name. Still, the woman returned to the temple with her new-born girl tied to her waist in a sarong and prayed that her daughter would grow up and have everything she ever wanted. Her husband left her and she prayed that her daughter would never have to depend on a man. She prayed every day that her daughter would be a great woman, the woman that she, meek and uneducated, could never become. A woman with nengkan; the ability to do anything she set her mind to A woman who commanded respect in the hearts of men. When she opened her mouth to speak, precious pearls would fall out and men would listen.

She will not be like me, the woman prayed as she watched her daughter grow up and drift away from her, speaking a language she scarcely understood. She watched her daughter transform from a quiet girl, to one who openly defied her, calling her laotu; old-fashioned. She wanted her mother to be ‘modern’, a word so new there was no Chinese word for it. Now her daughter was too clever for her and the old woman wondered why she had prayed like that.

The gods had been faithful to her persistent prayer, but the wealth and success that poured forth so richly had buried the girl’s roots and now she stood, faceless, with no identity, bound to the soil of her ancestors by only a string of origami banknotes. Her daughter hadforgotten her mother’s values. Her wants were so ephemeral; that of a modern woman. Power, Wealth, access to the best fashion boutiques, and yet her daughter had not found true happiness.

The old woman knew that you could find happiness with much less. When her daughter left the earth everything. She had would count for nothing. People would look to her legacy and say that she was a great woman, but she would be forgotten once the wind blows over, like the ashes of burnt paper convertibles and mansions.

The old woman wished she could go back and erase all her big hopes and prayers for her daughter; now she had only one want: That her daughter be happy. She looked out of the temple gate. She saw her daughter speaking on the phone, her brow furrowed with anger and worry. Being at the top is not good, the woman thought, there is only one way to go from there - down.

The old woman carefully unfolded the plastic bag and spread out a packet of bee hoon in front of the altar. Her daughter often mocked her for worshipping porcelain Gods. How could she pray to them so faithfully and expect pieces of ceramic to fly to her aid? But her daughter had her own gods too, idols of wealth, success and power that she was enslaved to and worshipped every day of her life. Every day was a quest for the idols, and the idols she worshipped counted for nothing in eternity. All the wants her daughter had would slowly suck the life out of her and leave her, an empty soulless shell at the altar. The old lady watched her joss tick. The dull heat had left a teetering grey stem that was on the danger of collapsing. Modern woman nowadays, the old lady sighed in resignation, as she bowed to the east one final time to end her ritual. Modern woman nowadays want so much that they lose their souls and wonder why they cannot find it.

Her joss stick disintegrated into a soft grey powder. She met her daughter outside the temple, the same look of worry and frustration was etched on her daughter’s face. An empty expression, as if she was ploughing through the soil of her wants looking for the one thing that would sow the seeds of happiness. They climbed into the convertible in silence and her daughter drove along the highway, this time not as fast as she had done before.

‘Ma,’ Bee Choo finally said. ‘I don’t know how to put this. Mark and I have been talking about it and we plan to move out of the big house. The property market is good now, and we managed to get a buyer willing to pay seven million for it. We decided we’d prefer a cosier penthouse apartment instead. We found a perfect one in Orchard Road. Once we move in to our apartment we plan to get rid of the maid, so we can have more space to ourselves…’

The old woman nodded knowingly. Bee Choo swallowed hard. ‘We’d get someone to come in to do the housework and we can eat out-but once the maid is gone, there won’t be anyone to look after you. You will be awfully lonely at home and, besides that, the apartment is rather small. There won’t be space. We thought about it for a long time, and we decided the best thing for you is if you moved to a Home. There’s one near Hougang - it’s a Christian home, a very nice one.’

The old woman did not raise an eyebrow. ‘I’ve been there, the matron is willing to take you in. It’s beautiful with gardens and lots of old people to keep you company! I hardly have time for you, you’d be happier there.’ ‘You’d be happier there, really.’ Her daughter repeated as if to affirm herself.

This time the old woman had no plastic bag of food offerings to cling tightly to; she bit her lip and fastened her seat belt, as if it would protect her from a daughter who did not want her anymore. She sunk deep into the leather seat, letting her shoulders sag, and her fingers trace the white seat.

‘Ma?’ her daughter asked, searching the rear view window for her mother. ‘Is everything okay?’

What had to be done, had to be done. ‘Yes,’ she said firmly, louder than she intended, ‘if it will make you happy,’ she added more quietly.

‘It’s for you, Ma! You’ll be happier there. You can move there tomorrow, I already got the maid to pack your things.’ Elaine said triumphantly, mentally ticking yet another item off her agenda.

‘I knew everything would be fine.’ Elaine smiled widely; she felt liberated. Perhaps getting rid of her mother would make her happier. She had thought about it. It seemed the only hindrance in her pursuit of happiness. She was happy now. She had everything a modern woman ever wanted; Money, Status, Career, Love, Power and now, Freedom, without her mother and her old-fashioned ways to weigh her down… Yes, she was free.

Her phone buzzed urgently, she picked it up and read the message, still beaming from ear to ear. ‘Stocks 10% increase!’ Yes, things were definitely beginning to look up for her…

And while searching for the meaning of life in the luminance of her hand phone screen, the old woman in the backseat became invisible, and she did not see the tears.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Guide To Understanding Men

Finally! After months and years of misunderstanding between the sexes and hard communication with the opposite gender, someone did good by coming up with a guide to understand men better. Unfortunately, it was posted by a guy who very predictably, stated it in only men language. Fortunately, I've come to help translate his guide for all you lovely ladies and give in a few tips or two. Below are the points taken from his guide followed by the translation.

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
•Simple hints do not work!
•Strong hints do not work!
•Obvious hints do not work!

There you have it, babes. What more better than to just ORDER him around? His grandmother did it, his parents did it, his elder sister did it, make it much more comfortable for him by commanding him. "Sit!" "Stay!" and "Hug!" are perfect examples for straight forward commands.

‘Yes’ and ‘No’ are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question
Remember, they should not have a say or an opinion. Anything that needs to be thought of, you make the decision. Like rule number 1, commanding "Yes" or "No" is a great way for him to sit down and be numb in the brain.

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
Apparently they do not know the meaning of hypothetical questions. Their brains cannot comprehend this "mystery".

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
Here's another great tip, girls. Men don't understand emotions. They don't understand the need for communication. So what do you do? Just treat them like robotic repairmen! Anything that's broken, spoilt, or simply a mess, call them and when they're busy fixing things, go party with your girlfriends!

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us
Seems that they don't believe in confirming information either. The saying, "Two heads are better than one" does not apply for men.

If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
I wonder what is the other way... make us grossed out? Hateful? Elevated? Perverted?

Crying = blackmail
Sex and getting pregnant isn't blackmail to them.

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
This is where the truth comes in, girls. Men's brain can only function at one part at a time. Their brains aren't developed enough to multitask. So tell them one thing at a time. Go slow.

If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself
They are lazy.

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
They came from Atlantic where the temperature was so freaking cold it froze their hearts into icicles. This also caused them to have less oxygen in their brains therefore it hurts in the head when they try to figure out what's wrong. In short, they're just lazy or unable to use their brains.

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during tv advertisement.
Again, their under-developed brain does not allow them to multitask. Remember, speak to him s-l-o-w-l-y so it's clearer for them.

Apparently there is more to this guide than just ten. But hey, if the girls know anymore, men will just be that insensitive, lazy-assed jerks we all love to hate. Then all men will be single. MUAH HAHAHAHAHAHA!

BIG FAT NOTE: I know this post is very sexist and it was only meant as sarcastic, entertainment purposes. This is a JOKE!. My apologies if I hurt anyone (but considering men's hearts are like icecles they wouldn't feel a thing reading this post, riiigghht? =P). I know guys out there who are very kind and caring and are great individuals. They are good friends, boyfriends and good people as a whole.

So for all you people who cannot tolerate this kind of sick humour, there's this very tempting looking X button at the top right hand corner of your browser. Kindly click that and be on your way. Thank you =)