Zombiefied

I am not dead.

Just busy. 

Sand In Your Hands

It was 8:30p.m. Around the dinner table sat my mother, my sister and me. We were having a simple meal, nothing much, just rice, egg and stir-fried baby long beans which my mother had cooked. It was a Sunday night and normally people would be out eating, but it was a relaxing one at home with just the three of us and no fussy requests, a simple meal to fill our stomachs was set on the table.

“Did you cook this?” I asked my mother as I chewed on the vegetables.

She nodded. “Yeah, why? It tastes different?”

“There’s a difference between Mama’s veggie and other people’s veggie.” I replied, to which my sister nodded and smiled in agreement.

The taste of the food that filled my mouth, into my taste buds was something that I missed very much. It brought nostalgia to me, bringing me back to the time when my whole family were still together, having my mother’s home cooked meal together as a family every day and night. It was a routine my parents had implemented; all members who are home, eat meals together at the same time.

In the present, normally my mother would not cook as a house-maid was employed lighten my mother’s burden. For two to three years, my mother had not cooked much. It was very rare if she did. Tasting her cooking again on that Sunday night made me realise how time had passed since I last enjoyed her cooking. So much has happened with promises of much more happening and I feel like I have not got the time to slow down.

My mother, the person who had cared for me and had once cooked meals every day for the family is no longer as young as I perceive her to be. One moment she was 40 and now she is already 60. This night has made me realise how much I took her for granted. Her kindness, her worries for me, her cooking, her sacrifices and the times she kept quiet when my bitter words and actions hurt her… all of them I took from her and then went about my business, thinking that I would have them for a long, long time. However, the fact is it won’t be long before it all stops. One day soon, she would have to leave this earth. All of us could die anytime. We could die tomorrow, or the day after, or the next week, or even years later. But despite the length of time, when a person goes, or when something stops, we would feel as if it was so sudden and time had passed so fast.

Like fine sand that you hold in your hand, first you have a tight handful, but then it would slip through your fingers, running until you’re left with just the residue that sticks to your palm. On the event that my mother goes, I don’t want to experience the death and then suddenly realise that I have missed the chance to get to know her or appreciate her or show her I love her or make her proud. I don’t want to realise that I’ve forgotten to say sorry for the times I’ve caused her pain or have no time to help her out when she needed me. Or when she would tell me things that I think was empty only to realise they were things I wish I would have paid more attention to. I don’t want to be left with that residue when everything is gone.

This was the mistake I have made with my father; remembering all the bad qualities about him, but failing to remember all the good ones that came together until it was too late. Going through the same mistake again with my mother would definitely be a shame on me. My mistake, my loss.

Mother, you are important to me and I love you.

The One

The One. What does that even mean? The right person who completes your physical needs? The right person who completes your every whim? Or the one person who seems to (scarily) know you inside and out like a twin? If the person spoils me to death, bringing me happiness every step of the way, is he the one?

I thought that there was a sure answer to this, but then I found out it’s too subjective. Reason being is that when life condition changes, your criterions for “The One” changes as well. For example, now I can be thinking that “The One” needs to be tall, buff, handsome, understanding, sweet, etc. etc. Later, as these qualities become less important to me, I would want someone whom I simply can share my life with (I know, too general. Joanna, please be more specific).

So I spent a little time reflecting, what does “The One” mean to me generally? Surely there are patterns throughout my life that I look for the most. Maybe I have not made enough mistakes to truly know and point to a person saying, “He’s the one.” Or maybe finding Mr. Right, is not really as important right now. I guess I may just be waiting for him to fall from the sky and give me an epiphany.

Regardless of the many variables that may constitute my “The One”, here is what I think “The One” is:

He’s “The One” when I don’t need to pretend I am someone else.

He’s “The One” when he respects me and I respect him.

He’s “The One” when he knows my weakness and accepts me. Better yet, try to help me become better.

He’s “The One” when there’s still things I can learn about him.

He’s “The One” when there’s nothing more to learn about him, that I continue to love him.

He’s “The One” when he loves me and continues to love me no matter what happens.

He’s “The One” when I can accept and live with his weaknesses.

He’s “The One” when we learn things in life together.

He’s “The One” when he just is.

Screw requirements, screw check lists for future husbands. If we love each other, we will surely work to improve ourselves for each other. We will surely change for the other person, although it may take some tears, some arguments, some time and some heartache. In fact, why are we making things so complicated? The term of “The One”? What, do we think that the perfect person that we think we can spend the rest of our lives with, the one that we’ve built in our heads will just fall on our lap, custom made?

In reality, “The One” does not exist. No matter perfect you think the person is, he/she will always have this weakness that you will eventually come to dislike. Oh, he’s so messy. Oh, he’s not treating my mother well. What the hell, doesn’t he know how to care for the baby? Why can’t he help with the house chores? He’s not taking me seriously anymore! He’s so boring, we used to have a lot of fun. Crap, he doesn’t have enough money. He can’t drive me around, he doesn’t understand me, he thinks I’m fat, ZOMG he’s flirting with that GIRL! etc. etc. And then, if things don’t get talked out or solved soon enough, we eventually stop loving.

That’s our conditional love, dear humans. If the other party don’t give us what we want or meet up to our expectations, we stop loving. Fights happen, break ups happen, and divorces happen. “The One” that you so happily married, ended up being “The Zero”. Loser. But really, is it 100% the other party’s fault? Hmm…

If you think you’ve found “The One”- perfect person you can’t even believe you have him/her, well, good for you! I sincerely wish you happiness in the years to come with each other, proving skeptics that love can lasts “’til death do us part” and that perfect people really do exist- or that you just found a way to handle weaknesses and negativity from your partner.

Commitment and Faith is all you need (and other subcategories in between). That’s “The One” for me.

This Is For Vanessa Ong

Because I know you’ll be reading.

And if you are supposed to be doing your assignment, this is a reminder.

Because I’m procrastinating myself *insert cheeky smile here*.

The last sentence suddenly sounds a little weird.

Is thinking you have a fantastic time at camp.

How dare you.

We’re all suffering here trying to finish those reports up.

Have you noticed that I’m typing out this post the way you normally do yours?

Ha ha!

Also, I think you should capitalize your i's. I’m a “perfectionist” like that.

Smilies! =)

Edit: Oh, Happy Valentine’s to bubbly Vanessa Ong… Are you touched?

And Happy Valentine’s to everyone who reads this

Randomness of Advertorials

So I was browsing around, finding for music to download in one of my favourite music sites when I saw this:

Spot something I spotted? Haha! This is still a little weird to me. Still trying to get used to seeing someone in adverts.

2010 turned 2011

Note: Double post! Wut? Also overdue .

How is it that time passed so fast? Was it because of the partying or the constant not-being-at-home? I was supposed to finish composing my short story during the holidays but it never got finished due to my lack of discipline and love for procrastination. Now holidays are almost over and I’m finding myself getting nervous everyday, anticipating my results for last semester (which I predict will be bad or very, very bad).

On another note, I noticed that people has been writing down what they’ve done in 2010 and what they wish to be done in 2011. I thought it would be fun to do the same, but changed my mind because that’s just plagiarizing in some way (don’t want to do it now) and also I cannot remember much of what happened in 2010… okay, I’m lying. I’m too lazy to think back.

I am sure many things happened between 2010 and 2011, good and bad. I need to remember to learn from the bad parts and throw them away. The good parts, I hope I keep them. I’m not about to make a list of resolutions, simply because:

1) I am never good with following listed goals.
2) Because of #1, my resolutions always fail.
3) Pointless.

However, I do want to send out a message to the people whom had a significant impact in my life. These people are my family, my high school friends, my Psycho Family, my yam cha friends, my used to be admirers, my online friends, my exes, my besties, my Goat and my guinea pigs and ex-dogs (who say pets don’t understand, hah?). Thank you for being there for me. Thank you for making my life more colourful than it is. Though there are times when we exchanged negative feelings, motive of caring and of love is always there. Life wouldn’t be the same without you bunch of people. I hope the 2011 will bring you more blessings and improvement in yourself and things around you. Piece of advice is to not trust fortune tellers, horoscopes, palm readers and all those sorts. They do not make your life, you won’t get rich if you just wait for it and you won’t get bad luck if you’re careful with what you do. Don’t ever go to read them or find out anything, because once they get in your head, it will directly or indirectly affect the way you live your life and therefore in the end, it happens. All the best!

Huggies! <3

Christmas Week

Note: This is very overdue. May be long.

Christmas is now here. I feel like days pass by so fast. It seems as if it were yesterday that I was freezing myself off in the anxiety filled exam hall. Well, not really anxiety. There’s a hint of nervousness plus a little dreamy effect once you walk into the exam hall, watching everybody get ready, students and invigilators alike. Then when you open up the exam sheet, your world minimizes and becomes just you and the exam questions. What interesting transition. But I shall not write a post on exams. After all, it has long gone and it wouldn’t suit the title above now, would it?

Christmas. It used to be so anticipated, so fun, so new and exciting no matter how many times you’ve celebrated it before. The idea of receiving presents and hoping to receive something good from the many, many givers during the season, the idea of having so many people walking around the house because of a party, the idea of having delicious food to eat during those parties, the idea of singing carols and drinking like there’s no tomorrow; they used to be something I experienced and enjoyed. Then it got to a time whereby these Christmas activities suddenly start to fade away its effects. Was it because I grew older or was it because of my father’s death? Or perhaps both?

After his death, whenever Christmas comes around and they start to play those nostalgic Christmas songs (e.g. White Christmas, Winter Wonderland, O Holy Night) I start to feel sad. Christmas songs had gone from happy festival feeling to just annoying. “Shut up, I don’t want to hear it,” would be my thought when those songs start to play. What is Christmas, if I cannot celebrate it with my father? He used to be there for 16 Christmases and now he’s not anymore. Now when I go to parties as described before, I feel as if… I used to have those, not that I have those now. Do you see what I mean? Even though I am experiencing it right then and there, I feel as if I’m not and it’s a long ago thing. Christmas, to me, became a sad event.

Then someone asked me what’s the meaning of Christmas to me. And hello, Joanna who is a Christian, so shameful of you. Christmas as not meant to be wearing Santa hats, singing and drinking until you feel like you reach heaven. Christmas did not lose meaning because your father died and now you no longer have barbequed lamb, his out of tone singing and his cheeky laughter. Why do you feel nostalgic for the things that, if you pan out, mean nothing at all?

What does Christmas mean to you? Tearing out presents from their wrappers or having a blast with friends? Showing off your house that can fit a number of people enough for a Chinese wedding dinner? And Santa. I am starting to get annoyed with songs singing about Santa and how he/she saw his/her mother kissing Santa under the mistletoe last night or how they would want Santa to bring them their desired gifts or how one would want Santa all by herself. Who in the world is Santa? Why would anyone want a fat man with a full white beard who only dress in the same clothes every single year (and the only thing he says is, “Ho, ho, ho. Merry Christmas!”) all by themselves? Why is Santa fat? Does he sit idle the whole year and only works for one day? Isn’t that lazy? Does the North Pole even contain elves and a fat man that dominates an entire factory that makes presents that are desired by people all over the world? Where do they get their resources? How do they get it? Who’s paying for it?! Ok, I’m rambling a little.

The fact is, if they say Christmas is about giving, we’ve been given a very big, out of this world gift. We are all sinners. By sinning against God, who gave us life and is almighty, our punishment is only death. We deserve it. But because God loved us, He came down to earth as a humble human. He gave us His son, Jesus. God in the image of man. Weak, helpless and just as tempted as any other human. Yet, Jesus followed his Father’s wishes, got ridiculed, insulted, beaten and died on the cross bearing all our sins, taking God’s wrath for us. He will come again to judge. Christmas is that remembrance, the day that salvation arrived for the lost souls.

P.S: This was meant to be more than what was typed out… but halfway through I got too analytical about what to say and how best to put it that I stopped and hoped inspiration will come later. I stopped a little too long only to have my inspiration run dry. This, I think is a really pathetic preaching (hard to understand, too light on the surface), but I figured I got to finish up the message before I leave it in the draft to rot and die. But yes, in a nutshell, this is what I think Christmas is meant to be. 

Intermission

Just a slight intermission between updates. Just so I can have a chance to blab out stupid insecurities, nonsensical ideas, and probably some disturbing facts. This won’t be anything else but rants and complaints. Okay so here goes.

I believe I might be close to a panic attack or a break down. Not the metaphorical, imaginative ones everyone talks about in times of stress and they are just saying it to relieve themselves, but the real one. You know, the one where you actually have physical symptoms and need some sort of technique or clinical help to calm you down?

I feel like I am so screwed right now. About a week from now, on the 29th of November 2010, final exams will be here. I have over 4 subjects to cover with about, I think, 12-14 chapters each and tons of journals to read through. I had started studying on the 2nd week of November, fooled around a bit (quite an understatement), and oh lookie, happy me, covered only 1 topic of 1 subject. I haven’t done any other. And oh goodness, the journal that I am reading right now never seems to end! Why can’t researchers just bloody get to the point?!

Every time I take a short break from reading or to do something (like what I am doing now), I feel like there’s this sense of impending doom. I’m doomed. I have this little stress that I carry in my head throughout the whole entire day and it doesn’t go away.

The worse is that after resting a little bit, when I look at the books, I feel like I just want to quit. I want to stop studying, stop working (which I will be doing later tonight), just stop everything and lie down and do nothing. Yup, nothing. I. am. so. tired. Geez, and classes keep going on even if lectures are over. Lecturers, PLEASE GIVE US A BREAK!

I am really not looking forward to 29th November, even if it meant exams are here and it will be over soon so that I can enjoy myself, because I am not ready. I feel like I’m the most not-ready-for-exam-student among all my friends (whom seem to be doing very well with their studying so far). I want a hug, I want to procrastinate longer, and I want everything that doesn’t deal with freaking finals.

And here I thought this would be a short post. Alright, time to go.

The Psycho Family

This is a dedicated post to my Psycho Family from Sunway University College. I appreciate you people loads, and when needed, you psychos are there. Now, to know about my psycho family, I shall need to inform you of all the members, starting from the very top.


Granny/Nana/Nanny Vanessa

She's the oldest (according to family rank), the most long winded, most detailed, most "ma fan" person I know. Also, she likes to over use quotation marks. Leave them alone, Vanessa!



Relax, granny, relax.

She's really cheerful and bubbly. Her laugh is contagious. It sounds like a wicked witch, but nicer. There's this one time when I was feeling really low to the pits. I checked my mail and there's this mail of hers with a link to her blog(!only those with researching background may attempt to read her blog!). It cracked me up and made me laugh. So thank you, Granny, for that bit of insanity and laughter. Besides her insanity, I do think she gives good advice as well. I've seen her in action. Therefore, find granny when you need some opinions; she's got loads.


Uncle Ian

He's granny's first son. He's the uncle that splurge and brings back stuff from China for the whole family. He talks a lot and have the most questions next to granny in lectures. He likes pretty and sexy chicks only (ahem, ahem). Just joking (= He likes all women.



Opps, did I flip the pancake too hard?

Did I tell you he likes cooking and designing? What a great uncle! Due to three particularly horrible incidents, some of us had to remind him during an exam, "Check your pockets!". He's always offering to get things for us when he goes China. One time he gave me a pocket mirror for my birthday because in class I was looking for a mirror. Thank you, uncle, for that.


Auntie/Sister Fizah

In the same rank as Uncle Ian, we have Auntie Fizah. Sometimes she acts like a younger child and she thinks she's our sister (we still call her aunty). The confusion is probably due to Mommy and Daddy picking her up from pasar malam and never really establishing her role in the family. Therefore, she has identity crisis.



Emo-ing...

Quite pretty for a pasar malam auntie, eh? She always like to emo. But nowadays, it seems she has dropped her emo habit because apparently, "I've been looking for a lost key to unlock my very tiny heart~~ Finally, I FOUND it" (Noor Hafizah, 2010). Sudah cite, mak cik. She's very caring. I remember when I was doing my assignment last minute (one day before due date) and then she lecture me because I haven't even started the Introduction/Literature Review. She gave me an SMS to remind me to start it and finish it. Next morning, get more scolding from her because I haven't finish it yet. Ganas oh this auntie.


Daddy

Note to Daddy: Do you know how hard is it to find good solo pictures of you? I was choosing between a drug addict picture and a picture of your serious face eating cake with cake clinging to the side of your head. After more searching, I gave up, and ended up choosing this horrible one:



Phantom of the Opera's Son

Old picture for the win! Muah ha ha ha! Hm... so about daddy, he's a very concerned daddy. Very fierce and like to scold people. But also very easy to bully because of his soft heart as well as his love for his family. He's creative and lecturers love his brain. They wanted to preserve it, but were agonized when he escaped from their evil plans to extract his brain and went to Korea in hopes they will forget about their plans in 1 year's time. However he failed to realize that his escape plan means leaving 80% of his family behind to fend off the evil lecturers' brain washing scheme. Oh well, at least we're still surviving and still sane... I think.


Mommy

Next to Daddy is of course, Mommy. She has this rabbit in her possession that I just want to pinch, scratch, claw and squeeze due to it's overload of cute-ness. It's a stuffed toy, of course. I will never do those to a live animal. Say 'No' to animal cruelty. She's just as cute as the rabbit.



How to say "I love you" in Korean?

She is very bright, like a star. Always smiling and happy, not bothering people with her problems. In some ways she is also a very blur Mom. I think this is due to her late night sleeps. Sleep early ah, Mommy! Old already need to take care of yourself more.

She likes cold jokes a lot which the children do not understand at all. There was this one time when she asked "What does Bunny do not like to eat?". Me and Arinah came up with different sorts of answers (e.g. carrot, meat), but in the end she said the answer was "Bun". Why? It is because of Bunny's name. After telling the answer, Mommy proceeded to giggle (syok sendiri). However, me and Arinah just stared at each other blankly. I think it took us more than 10 seconds to fully understand it. We ended up laughing not because of the joke, but because both of us had blank stares while Mommy remained delightfully happy with her clever joke.


The Triplets

Finally we get to be introduced to the highlights of the family; the triplets. Below is a picture of the three children in order of oldest to youngest (from left to right).



Arinah, Mei Li, and Me. Clickable.

Nothing much to say about us. Just that we are not normal, I think we need counseling. Arinah Kakak is trigger happy, she laughs non-stop for no reason. Mei Li Jie is a Depressed, Random, Lying Cat (inside joke) and I am apparently a Crab by day, Vampire by night (wth). I do not know why I am the last. It is really sad. I will always get bullied by the other two. But I still love my sisters. *insert big happy smile here*

Here is our family tree that we (the triplets) made:



Slowly figure out which balloon is who

That's all about my lovely Psycho family. The ones who stuck with each other through thick, thin, long and short. Remember our karaoke sessions; how we made Daddy sing "Barbie Girl"? Remember when we wanted to strangle the person who hurt Arinah? Remember the night in the train and that we wanted to send someone off to Thailand? Remember we were so hard working on climbing 300 steps in Langkawi just to reach the waterfall and when we reached, thought that wasn't the place and climbed some more? Remember who broke the bed in Penang and who looked so p-r-e-t-t-y with make-up on? Remember whose facial expressions was so expressive and thoughts were so abstract? Remember who thought that the girl in the mirror was someone else? Remember who was so hardworking in getting to know some pretty ladies *winkwink*? Hehehe.

I hope that by reading this, all family members will smile on your sad days and have a laugh on the good days.

xoxox's.

Layout Number xoxo

Yes, I'm too lazy to create my own layout. Looks good though.

*insert happy smile here*

Video Ramble 01

Due to my laziness and the time to update this blog, I decided to upload... a video. Hah!

One Month Drag

I have now all the time in the world... well, at least for one month. Holidays had started since July the 12th. I have been doing nothing but wasting my time. Something new has happened in this household; my brother bought a new gaming console. Guess which one is it? ;)

Anyway, I have been downloading games to keep myself "busy" as well. Nothing much to do here. Hoping to go out soon with people I have yet to contact. Everyone's having their classes to attend or stuff to do. Also, I have been working on my little project in the previous post. Inspirations are slowing down, really. I wonder why I only get inspirations when I have something better to do. When I am free and able to open up the draft to write, nothing comes in my head! It is so frustrating!

Oh and before I go, I need to say that I watched Eclipse and... it was not as bad as I expected. In fact, I think I like the director for this movie. Acting was so-so. It was bareable and at least entertaining for me. Makes me want to sit down and read another fantasy romance novel. Mmm!

Like a Magnet to Other Stuff BUT Work

I'm a procrastinator. No new news there.

Then I finally got the mood to work on my assignment that is due tomorrow and started sitting at the computer at 7:30P.M.

Here I stare at the screen (opening multiple tabs as usual) and blink, blink! WTH 11:09P.M! I can actually hear some of you cursing at me in your head, "Then why are you still blogging? Go do your freaking assignment!"

Just wanted to say something... Internet kills your time. A LOT of time, especially when you know what are the right links to click. Okay, enough ranting. Back to work.

Toodles!

Hard Choices

What do we do when we have a hard choice to make? Be it leaving a loved one or doing something you originally intended not to do (but it is necessary)? I would have happily give you answers and choices to make that would make your life easier... if only I've found it.



If only it were easy as this...

Face the facts; with hard choices, there's no easy way. It's either you do it or you don't. I find myself always and constantly stuck in this period. No matter how much I pray, how much I cry or how much I ponder, I never get far. I thank God that whatever it is, I still have the strength to smile and to carry on my daily life and not cling to the bed, complaining I cannot go on or worse yet, drop everything I've learnt and revert to my old, mundane ways. I also thank God for supportive friends whom are always there, caring and helping me lift my moods.

I hope that I can do something for them as well. No matter how small the deed, I hope that one day I am able to make a better difference in their lives. Hope they don't see that I take their kindness and cares to my advantage. For future implications, if I ever gave that impression, just slap me. I never intended for that to happen.

My elder brother told me and gave me the impression that he thinks I am one that sits down and wait to be pampered. He worries that in future, I could not handle my life. While that may hold some truth, I would never want to be the only one on the receiving end and I have a belief that I can handle my life (the problem is whether would it be the hard way or the easy way). That much, I hope he knows. Although growing older means I have to take more responsibilities I'm not really ready for yet, I'm not as spoilt as he thinks or as weak as he thinks.

As for Hard Choices, I made up my mind that although you are an incredible pain in the back, you are necessary for my growth. And guess what? I'm not backing down and I'm beating you one step, albeit small, at a time.

Dream, Dream, Dream

Funny how when you're in a dream and it makes so much sense with so much purpose. Then when you wake up, especially from an exciting dream, you feel the sense of urgency. Later, it slowly fades away as you start to realise that the dream was very silly and you can barely recall what it was that was so important. I was browsing my desktop for study notes when I found a document titled "In a party". Wondering when I managed to write a new story, I opened it.

Scanning through the first few lines, I wondered when I had this particular document. It did not make any sense and there were random people jumping in. Punctuations and grammar were not even in the right place. It had even more action than my other stories. Then, ding! I remembered that I had once woken up in a sense of urgency and quickly typed out what I remember about the dream after washing up. Below is what I wrote...

---

In a party… when Wayne suddenly got this premonition about the earth quake. His head(near his left eye there is a scar) hurts and he explains while crying that he actually got this when Adeline pushed him down last time. Since then he has been able to tell if there was an earthquake. But it was so minor. Until that day that it was so painful… and he sobbed "We’re going to die."

Just then we saw the ground spilt into a small hole and bright red lava was coming out of it. Adeline and I sprang into action. No idea why we didn’t warn people when we should have… we climbed rooftops and went further away from the scene. I warned Eng Yew through SMS while I was maneuvering through the many rooftops. After that we were on the ground and my brother came with a Kancil in full speed. Asked me to hurry get into the car. We were to escape the lava. I went to get Adeline, told her that I was going, hoping she would follow me. I don’t know if she did but once I got in the car, that was it. My brother drove away and we were headed our way to KL. He took a short cut to save time. But we got to a point (somewhere near Tesco) that further down the road, it was already in fire. There was no way to maneuver around it. Lava was catching up in our direction. It already did and went further up. My brother tried to maneuver around the lava, did a U-turn and returned to the place where we departed from to get his wife and other people?.

I wanted to save Adeline. I asked to return. And we tried to get inside but our path was blocked with lava. I found a way. We used motorbikes. And went underground (secret passage) and up to a… bank? And I was screaming to people to get out to get out. The guards helped me as well and showed the way to the underground passage. Almost everyone was out but I saw someone pass a small thing over to somebody else in a discreet way. I predict a betrayal later on. In the passage, there was this old lady, supposedly a wise shaman of that sort. She has passed out and couldn’t wake up. I asked someone to carry her. We went down a half level and there sat two or three kids. Who had fallen from the flights and supposedly got their legs broken. I checked, slowly… but it was only a twist.

I couldn’t remember what happened next.

---

I pressume I woke up after that. I also notice that in this dream, I was being the "heroine". Most of the time with dreams such as these, my top priority was running away. There's a theory I came up with that running away from something means running away from problems. If this theory is true, then what I did in my dream would mean I've started face my problems.

It's a good change, no?

Cobwebs and Spiders

Really didn't mean to leave the blog for such a long time. Just felt lazier everytime I think of updating. Anyway, Merry Christmas. It's a late wish, but Christmas carries on for 7 days... I think. So I'm still on time!

So I came back to my blog, hopefully to get some inspirations back when I noticed how much I've been neglecting it very much. I saw this:


Wth?

So ugly, ugly, ugly. So I decided to pay Photobucket a visit, hoping I did not forget my password. I didn't. I did forget my username (which, by the way, is very clearly stated in the warning message). Doh! This is what happens when you let the tired brain work.

My exams were good, week was nice, and I'm finally having holidays from working which is a plus! And this is really a crappy update. Well, I have to... unless I want to leave it until next year.

Will find more interesting stuff to post up. Til then, bye bye!

Procrastination

I am the queen. I am queen over all procrastination urges. For I, Joanna Liew, am a big, fat procrastinator (the irony- since I'm so skinny). What makes people procrastinate? I remember doing a research about this on my first semester in Psychology. I would have tried to revive this memory to put in nice information about procrastinators here, but unfortunately I am too darn lazy to care.

Thus, I shall show you an example of a procrastinator- which is me. I actually need to construct a better rating form and e-mail it to someone since yesterday, which is a Friday night. Now, 24++ hours later, I am still chilling around and have not yet even begun constructing said rating form, much less e-mail it to the said someone. Well, if I'm working on my own on this assignment, it wouldn't bother me so much. But I am actually working with a friend, whom much unlike me do not procrastinate, and I am feeling so guilty.

So this is my sorry note, although I know you don't read my blog. Either way, sorry. It's 12:11A.M on a beautiful EARLY Sunday morning. I will get it done by this Sunday afternoon.

Yeah, right. I doubt myself.

Motivation That Flew Away

It's been ages since I touched this dusty old blog. Motivation is running low. To even place my fingers on the keyboard and type out thoughts on the blog. Sometimes the thoughts don't even matter by the time my CPU whirs to life.

I tried making a new layout for the blog, but then it wasn't really impressive to me so I gave it up. Maybe after searching for another inspirational picture, I might get the thing done.

Also, Psychology is becoming more of a pain. The workload is definitely rising and trying to make us poor students "psycho". With that said, ta-ta for now!

Gratitude and Presents

Edited July 3rd: Left out a few details...

This is a little late. But gratitude to you guys are needed!

Though I didn't get showered with presents, the wishes are astounding. I think part of my thanks goes to Facebook. Haha! Thanks to those whom had celebrated and wished me starting from the 27th of June! You know who you are ;). If I left anyone out, I'm sorry. I don't have a super memory.

Surprise Gathering
Fifi
MeiMei
Shine
Arina
Vanessa Ong
Beckham
Andrew
David
Izzat

Thanks for coming and surprising me in Chilli's as well as your cute little present. I really was in shock until I randomly picked something out from the menu to eat (I usually take my time ordering). I was THAT blur. THANK YOU ENGYEW for setting it up. ;)


Facebook & MSN
Qi Kit
Kelvin
Lih Ren
Brandon
James the Taugeh
Anitt
Cynthia
Maryann
Vivi
Yvonne Tomato
Seng Mun (you're old too, you know?)
Hui Lin Baby
Sharon Lai
Archana
Aliza
Prem J
Gillian
Nadia
Goat =P
Kean Pang
Yuen Cheong (did I spell it right?)
Hui Huan
Dharshini
Joseph Tan
Adeline
Christine
Poh Yee
=)

You guys make me feel loved <3. I didn't get a chance to write on everyone's walls, but thanks!


SMSes
Goat (the only birthday call)
Xiao Teng
Adeline
Chipmunk
May Yoong
Charisse
Julie (Hello, sis)
Venessa
Andre
Adrian
Auntie Edith
Weng Soon
Natasha

I don't mind the belated ones so you can take back your "Sorries" =)


Face value
Darren
Fred
Shine (for the Aussie, Malaysian and USA wishes)
Mom
Jeremy (Hey, bro)
Mee Kin
Baby Elisha


Hope I didn't forget anyone. x_x

Presents Time!



Patrick!

I'm actually quite glad you guys didn't get me SpongeBob. Patrick is cute.




I HAVE A PIG IN MY HOUSE!!!

Yeah, I have a pet (thanks to a Goat)! FINALLY! And it's an adorable Guinea Pig. Meet, ChocoChip! She's really shy, but she makes so much noise just to get a piece of carrot and cucumber. Sheesh! She gets louder when I start to talk and move towards her cage.


That's it for a birthday! MUAX!!!

A Respect and Pause

For those of you who hadn't had access to CNN, the radio or the internet news today, Michael Jackson passed away on 25th June at 2:30 p.m, Los Angeles, USA. For those of you living in the East side of the world, that'll be 26th June at 5:30 a.m, Malaysian time. Sources say he died of cardiac arrest.

There's this amazing thing I read about in Wikipedia following his death:

"In the hours following Jackson's death, his record sales increased dramatically. His seminal album Thriller climbed to number one on the American iTunes music chart, while another eight have made it into the top 40.[161] In the UK, where Jackson would have performed less than three weeks after his death, fifteen of his albums occupied the top 15 spots on the Amazon music chart.[162]"

Walao.

This blog will take a moment of pause of respect for him... and also in preparation for my upcoming finals (very, very soon).

Will be back!