Bleed

There are times when we make mistakes. There is this time, when we make that one little mistake, and everything just crashes. There's no turning back, no delete button, and it just stays floating in front of your eyes with its taunting smile.

I am tired. I am tired of mistakes. I am unable to control the chemistry that runs through my body, unable to realise the impending danger up ahead. I am tired of myself; sorely disappointed. I made others disappointed in me.

Do you see this shell? Do you think you can read everything that lies beneath? Know the secrets? Know the behaviour? Know the habits? Even if you think you know almost everything, something still lurks underneath. When the time comes, it rises up, grabs hold of its victim and try to bring the victim down as far as it could go. Then it simply vanishes into thin air.

All I can only say is the word "sorry". Which I know, to you, does not mean much anymore. Too many sorries. Too little solutions. If there is anything I can do, I would prefer it if my mistake just slice me open, and let me bleed in open air, vulnerable and almost lifeless.