Intermission
Just a slight intermission between updates. Just so I can have a chance to blab out stupid insecurities, nonsensical ideas, and probably some disturbing facts. This won’t be anything else but rants and complaints. Okay so here goes.
I believe I might be close to a panic attack or a break down. Not the metaphorical, imaginative ones everyone talks about in times of stress and they are just saying it to relieve themselves, but the real one. You know, the one where you actually have physical symptoms and need some sort of technique or clinical help to calm you down?
I feel like I am so screwed right now. About a week from now, on the 29th of November 2010, final exams will be here. I have over 4 subjects to cover with about, I think, 12-14 chapters each and tons of journals to read through. I had started studying on the 2nd week of November, fooled around a bit (quite an understatement), and oh lookie, happy me, covered only 1 topic of 1 subject. I haven’t done any other. And oh goodness, the journal that I am reading right now never seems to end! Why can’t researchers just bloody get to the point?!
Every time I take a short break from reading or to do something (like what I am doing now), I feel like there’s this sense of impending doom. I’m doomed. I have this little stress that I carry in my head throughout the whole entire day and it doesn’t go away.
The worse is that after resting a little bit, when I look at the books, I feel like I just want to quit. I want to stop studying, stop working (which I will be doing later tonight), just stop everything and lie down and do nothing. Yup, nothing. I. am. so. tired. Geez, and classes keep going on even if lectures are over. Lecturers, PLEASE GIVE US A BREAK!
I am really not looking forward to 29th November, even if it meant exams are here and it will be over soon so that I can enjoy myself, because I am not ready. I feel like I’m the most not-ready-for-exam-student among all my friends (whom seem to be doing very well with their studying so far). I want a hug, I want to procrastinate longer, and I want everything that doesn’t deal with freaking finals.
And here I thought this would be a short post. Alright, time to go.
3 words of others:
*hug*
Believe me, I've been there. I am graduating in December with a dual degree, and I got through most of college with an A average by cramming. That's right, waiting until the day before, not doing the reading, and studying my notes. Go to class, that's important. Re-learning the material is so much easier than learning it for the first time all at once.
College is overwhelming and many times I wanted to quit, but it's just not my personality. College is actually a wonderful thing, and it was the most fun I ever had.
And as far as the panic attack thing, it can be a crippling thing to deal with. If you start to suffer from it, medication can really help.
Thanks, Hannah.
You really made me smile. I feel quite exhausted. You're right, going to class makes things easier. I noticed that for some topics I actually paid attention to. I just wish I paid more attention to the others, you know?
I was trying to aim for first class honors or at least second upper for my degree. Guess I would have to prepare with something in case I have that attack.
Oh and congratulations, your graduation is real soon! You must be pretty excited about it.
*hugs*
:(
its gonna be a long week
study please try to
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